Question: My fiancé and I are getting married in September. His brother is a marriage counselor and said one of the main things married couples argue about is money. He asked us if we've had a discussion about money matters yet. I didn't think that was a big deal and don't really know what we should be discussing. Can you give me some advice?

Answer: Your soon-to-be brother-in-law is absolutely right. Many couples bring financial baggage into a relationship and often don't deal with it until problems arise. That baggage can come in the form of a poor credit rating, significant debt, or no experience managing money.

Regardless of the issue, the time to address money differences is up front, before the financial bottom falls out. The more aligned you and your fiancé are regarding financial matters, the more likely it is that you'll avoid money arguments down the road. Having an open and honest conversation about money now will allow you to go into the marriage with your eyes wide open.

Here are some topics to get you started when you and your fiancé sit down to have the big "money talk." Remember, it's important to do this before your wedding day.

• How much debt do you each have? This would include credit card debt, vehicle loans, as well as student loan obligations. Don't hide anything, as that's really getting off on the wrong foot.

• Review each other's credit reports and credit scores. Each person has their own report and score, but knowing who is in better shape financially can provide direction when making large purchases down the road.

• What is your attitude toward saving? People know what this answer should be, so it's important to be honest and realistic or any plan that you develop is sure to fail.

• What's your attitude toward spending? Do you want a joint checking account or separate ones? Will each wage earner keep his or her paycheck and spend it as they please, or will the money be pooled?

• Who will be responsible for each household expense? Will the dollar amount be divided evenly? Prorated by earnings? Should the one who earns the most pay for everything?

• How much "mad money" is reasonable for each person to spend independently each month with no questions asked?

• Do you believe that retirement planning is something that should start now, or can it be put off? Should both parties contribute to the retirement account?

• How do you feel about lending money to family and friends? This question is sure to come up over the course of a lifetime together, so it's best to firm up the answer prior to an emotional situation.

• What about caring for aging parents? This may mean that you need to have a discussion with each set of parents. It's a hard topic to broach, but nonetheless necessary. You may find out that they've already made arrangements for themselves, but you won't know if you don't talk about it.

• What are your short- and long-term financial goals? It's fine to have your individual goals, but it's also important to have family goals, too, things that you can build toward together.

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